Archive for January, 2012

Dance Recital Musings

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Today I went to my daughter’s dance recital.  Normally, I don’t look forward to three hours of consecutive entertainment, and today was no different. (I want to see my kid dancing, just not her and everyone else’s kid, for so long ) But even in the midst of my bad attitude, I started having some positive thoughts.
As I was sitting there looking into the faces of all these children, I started to think: each one of these human beings in front of me is one tiny wave on the sea of God.  Each one of these kids represents a different flavor of God(dess).

Some were tall for their age, some were short. Some were chubby, some  were thin.  Some were what society would call “beautiful”, some not so much.  Some of them had ears that stuck straight out off the sides of their head.  Some were smiling, some completely serious.  All of a sudden, I could see God in each one of them.  And they were all beautiful to me in that moment.

They usually put the younger kids on the stage first so they can be taken home by their parents afterward.  Some of them were probably no more than two years old.  Even though they’d presumably been practicing the same dance for half a year by now, most of them were fairly clueless about the dance “routine”, some more so than others.

And yet, as we watched them, we found their “mistakes” endearing.   We laughed and clapped.  I saw one youngster literally picking her nose at the end of the routine while her peers where doing curtsies on the stage.  She was just standing there, oblivious, picking away.

I thought to myself: Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all so generous with ourselves and our partners?  That when we made “mistakes”, we would think of them as “cute”?  Wouldn’t it be nice if we gave more of that unconditional love it seemed so easy to give these children, to others, starting with ourselves?

I guess what I am really saying is this: The next time you make a mistake or don’t meet up to your own high standards, try picturing yourself as a two year old in a blue tutu picking your nose.  Maybe it’ll help.

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Parting on Good Terms

Friday, January 27th, 2012

It occurs to me lately that most of us have a great deal of trouble, once we realize that a relationship is over, leaving on good terms.  It is as if we get amnesia for all the good things about our partners, all the reasons we were together in the first place, and only remember what is supposedly “wrong” with that person and why the breakup is occurring.  It may be a six month relationship, or it may be a twenty year marriage. It doesn’t matter.  It is still important, and absolutely possible, to patch things up before you depart.

Here are some important things to keep in mind to help facilitate your ability to love and honor your partner and the life your have shared, even in your departure from each other:

1.  Be clear.  If it is over, it is over.  Staying in the same house for an extended period, once the decision has been made, can cause a lot of hard feelings.  Continuing to have sex with the person you are splitting up with can do the same.  Guilt can cause some of these behaviors, but the price you will pay is not worth it in the long run.

2.  Speaking of guilt, let go of it.  It is probably the most useless human emotion you can have.  Realize that what is good for you (if you are the one leaving) IS good for the other person.  Does anyone really want to be with someone who pities them?  By leaving, you are giving both yourself and your ex an opportunity to create the relationship you both want next.  Make a decision and surrender to God/Goddess/All That Is anything that is not serving you, such as your guilt.

3.  Forgiveness is huge.  Forgive both yourself and your partner for “failing” in the relationship.  It is not really a failure anyway.  Also forgive your partner for any perceived “wrongs” that he or she has committed.  Realize that even the things which you found it challenging to accept happened for a reason and are opportunities for your learning.

4. Thank your partner.  When I broke up with my partner last year, I wrote him a 2-3 page thank you letter.  It listed all the things I was grateful for in the relationship.  Not just the “good” but the “bad” also.  For instance, I thanked him for frequently being late, because his lateness enabled me to get practice expressing my feelings, learn how to let the anger go, and to forgive.  By the way, when you can thank your partner for even the things that used to bother you, it is a sign that you have reached forgiveness.

5.  If at all possible (that is, unless there was horrible abuse in the relationship), think of the breakup as a change in your relationship with each other, not the end of it.  Of course, no one can go from being lovers one day to friends the next.  You will need a period of separation and only the two of you can say how long that period must be.  But in time, you will both have healed enough to be able to create a beautiful friendship.

I believe that love really is forever.  That doesn’t mean you will always stay together with each partner.  But it does mean that you go on loving each other even after the romantic part of the relationship is over.

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Monogamy Revisited

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

Okay, so here’s the deal.  I am not perfect.  You’re really surprised by that, aren’t you? I am actually a work in progress, just like all of you and as such I may change my ideas about things from time to time, as I am about to do right now.

In a previous blog, I made an argument that we, as human beings, are not meant to be monogamous.  Well, I have since found out more information on that. As some of you know, I am frequently exposed to channeling during our Sunday “meditation group”.  We call it the meditation group, but that’s just to make ourselves sound really normal(ish).  After we meditate, many times we listen while one of our members allows non-physical entities called spirit guides to speak through her.

Spirit guides are souls that have agreed to be with us throughout our lifetime to “guide” us, as the name would suggest.  We each have three of them.  Usually one male two female or one female two male.  And they have names.  But here’s the tricky thing.  They only give themselves sexes and names to make it more understandable for us.  Truly, they have neither, nor does God, but they accommodate us sometimes to make things easier for us to understand.

Very often our guides talk about sex.  It’s funny, sometimes when we have a new group member hear the channeling for the first time, they ask the question: “why are your guides always talking about sex?”  And then we explain that my work is primarily about sex and that is why.

Our guides are very blunt.  Not unkind, but they don’t mince words. They have told many of us that our sex lives are boring.  And they go on to say that the reason our sex lives are boring is that we only have one sexual partner.  They tell us that humans invented monogamy, not Source.  So that led me to believe that we all were meant to be polyamorous, meaning to have more than one sexual partner.

Just to clarify, one day I asked more specifically about this.  (They allow  us to ask questions, and they will answer them.)  In fact, they said the majority of our souls intended to have more than one partner at once, but some of our souls came here intending to be monogamous.  I asked for percentages, but they wouldn’t go there.  They don’t always answer everything!

Why, then, if so many of us came here to be polyamorous, are there so few polyamorous people on the planet?  I didn’t ask this, because I’m pretty sure I already know the answer.  Sometimes we get off course from what we came here to do, because it’s not just our soul that shows up here. We have two other parts, mind and body. And many times, the mind gets in the way of the desire of the high self, or soul.  The mind gets filled with things like religion and societal views and overrides the desire of the soul. (The body could get in the way of other things, but in this case it seems to be primarily the mind sort of taking over.)

So, how about you?  Regardless of what your choices have been in this lifetime so far in terms of being monogamous or polyamorous, what do you suspect that your soul really desires?  How can you tell?

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Soulmates and Twin Flames Defined

Friday, January 20th, 2012

In our mainstream culture, many people believe that a soulmate is that one person on the planet that they’re destined to be with, romantically speaking.  They meet someone and believe that person is their soulmate. At long last they have found the one.  But then it doesn’t work out, in most cases, and they meet someone else.  They were wrong.  The first person wasn’t their soulmate, this person is.  Sound familiar?

Well, I have good news and bad news about this.  Most of the time, finding that one person, inheriting a castle, and living happily ever after only happens in Disney movies.  That’s the bad news. The good news is this: We all have many soulmates on the planet.  When you think about it, isn’t that a good thing? Wouldn’t we all be screwed if we had to search the world over just to find that one person?  Sounds like finding a needle in a haystack!

What a soulmate is, really, is simply a soul that we are very bonded with.  We get bonded with other souls by having (usually multiple) past life experiences with them.  It’s not really the quantity of past lives we’ve shared as much as is it the significance of those past lives that determines the strength of the bond.

And here’s another twist: a soulmate doesn’t have to be a romantic partner.  It can be a friend or a lover.  Did you ever have the experience of meeting someone, anyone, for the first time, and having the feeling that you’ve already known them for like ten years?  Chances are, that’s a soulmate.

So then, you might be wondering, what’s a twin flame? Some believe a twin flame is when your soul splits in two and you meet the other half of you living in another body and get that “finally I found you” feeling of relief.  Well, not exactly…

A twin flame is actually that one person on the planet with whom you have deep, deep resonance.  Most people will never meet their twin flame.  This person is also someone with whom you have shared at least 90% of your past lifetimes. And many times, your field of work or your or main passion in life is the same.  I understand all this, plus the fact that one has to be at least 87% of the way to enlightenment in order to meet their twin flame, through a channeling session I had with my friend. She often channels ascended masters such as Mother Mary and Archangel Michael.  I’m not sure who was speaking the day we channeled about twin flames.

If your soul is not one of those that has chosen to meet your twin flame this time around, take heart.  I understand sometimes it can be a bit like a Disney movie.  But it can also be a bit like a horror movie, involving a lot of conflict and work on both of your parts, as you grow to your highest potential together.

I guess the most important piece for all of us in these partner adventures is to trust ourselves.  To trust that our souls knew what the heck they were doing when they came here, and that all our souls’ choices are for our highest good.

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On Being Single

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night to pee.  I know, nothing out of the ordinary, right?  But what happened next was.

For some reason, while I was sitting there, the fact that I am alone, I am single right now, came up.  And for a split second I felt sad.  And then, the message (from…somewhere) popped in: “Enjoy it while you can.”  Next, I started to effortlessly make a mental list of all the benefits of being single:

- I hardly shave anything, ever anymore
- I sleep fabulously at night (with the occasional pee break!)
- I never worry about disturbing someone else’s sleep
- I get to make all the decisions about where to go and what to do without considering anyone else
- I have sex (with myself) whenever I want to and never when I’m not really in the mood

I’m sure there are others.  But the experience made me think of what our spirit guides often say to us during channeling: “Your soul wants to experience all of it.”

I am starting to see that it really, truly is all my creation, or at least my co-creation with Source and others.  And that there’s a gift in all of it.  In being in relationship.  In being single.  In grieving.  In being angry.  In being scared.  And in having sexual feelings.  Literally every experience I create in my life offers the opportunity to experience ecstasy in its own way.

I have a sense that my time of being single is slowly drawing to an end.  And that’s okay too.  But for now, I’m going to just enjoy these hairy legs!

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Love is…in my Hot Chocolate?

Friday, January 13th, 2012

Yesterday morning I was feeling kind of melancholy.  So I decided to write in my journal. (By the way, that is a good thing to do when you are feeling out of sorts; it helps to clarify your thoughts and feelings when you get them down on paper.)  I settled down to write, but then realized I was cold.

So I got up to make myself a cup of hot chocolate.  But then I opened the cabinet to get the hot chocolate mix, and I saw the Italian bread.  (You see how these things go with me, right?)  Eventually, I did do my writing, but first I ended up at the kitchen table with my hot chocolate and some toast.

I was dipping my toast in my hot chocolate- yummy!  All of a sudden, I looked down, and what do you think I saw?  There was a perfect outline of a heart shape in the cup. The lighter, frothy part of the hot chocolate on top revealed a darker color in one spot underneath, shaped like a heart!  At first I was amazed and mesmerized. Then I almost gave in to the temptation to believe that is was just a coincidence.  People have hearts in their hot chocolate all the time, right?

But then I knew better. And here’s where my thoughts went: Love.  This is God’s way of reminding me about love.  Everything is love. This table I am sitting at is love.  The candle on the table is love.  Everything in the universe is made up of love.  Every experience is made up of love. For there is no other Source in the universe.  God(dess) is love.  We are love.  It’s ALL love. That’s the message.  And suddenly, I wasn’t feeling quite so down anymore…

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Soul Linking

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

Last week I wrote about accepting your partner, listening to him or her with an open heart and an open mind.  Well, I realize sometimes that works better than others.  Sometimes our egos still get in the way, try as we might to work things out.

Fortunately for us, we have more than the ego and the personality to work with.  We are all made up of three parts- mind, body, and spirit (or soul).  Whether it be with your partner, or in any other type of relationship, if the mind is not getting the job done, perhaps you can try soul linking.

Soul linking is a process in which your soul links (communicates) directly with another person’s soul, thus bypassing the personality altogether.

Let me give you an example of how I used soul linking in the past. In 2011, I ended a long term relationship.  I didn’t tell my mother for several days.  I was afraid I would hear: “Oh, Maria, why did you do that?”, and I didn’t want to feel even worse than I already did.  So I decided to try soul linking.

First I meditated and cleared out all my fears and doubts. Then I had a little chat with her high self, or soul.  I told her I was about to call her and that I wanted her to take my news in stride.  Next I proceeded to call her.  When I told her my news, I thought I was talking to someone else on the phone!  I heard her say: “I’m sure you know what’s best for you.”  Trust me when I say this is not the kind of thing that usually comes out of my mother’s  mouth!  The results of my first try at soul linking were close to miraculous!

If you want to try soul linking, you can either do it while awake, as I did, or while you’re sleeping.  If you decide on the latter, here’s how to do it: meditate before bed and then simply set the intention that your two souls will meet up on what’s called the soul plane while sleeping and work out whatever the issue is.  (Our souls travel while we sleep and can meet each other in another dimension called the soul plane.)

I invite you to try soul linking.  It worked great for me.  If you do, please write and let me know how it works for you!

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Acceptance Versus Resistance

Friday, January 6th, 2012

Recently I posted about meditation.  The purpose of meditation is to release resistance.  Resistance can be defined as all the negative thoughts and feelings which interfere with your being in your natural state. In other words, your ego.  Your natural state, on the other hand, is one of joy, love, and truth.  It is your God(ess) given birthright- but how much time do we spend in that state, really?

Now let’s apply the same concept to your relationship.  What is the opposite of resistance?  It’s acceptance.  You know that prayer called the Serenity Prayer?  (Something like: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference?)  What if we started to apply that idea to our partners and realized that our partners fall in the “cannot change” category?  You see, many of us have gotten it all wrong.  Rather than accept that our partners are as they are, we start to see them as an improvement project.  Oh, sure.  It’s easy to accept them as they are at the beginning.  We think they’re perfect until those “honeymoon hormones” wear off.  Then we think: “If you would only be more like ME, we’d get along much better.”  And so we try to change our partner into what we want them to be.  But it doesn’t work, does it?  I’ve tried that experiment, and I bet you have too!

So let me give you an alternative.  The next time you start to sense a conflict coming on with your partner, the next time you start to make your partner wrong, in your mind or otherwise, choose to practice acceptance rather than resistance.  Take a deep breath.  Invite your partner to speak her (or his) truth, and really listen.  Listen with an open heart and an open mind.  See what happens.  Be present with what is.  Be in the moment rather than rehearsing what you’re going to say next, judging, or both.  If you do this, you may just find that you begin to accept your partner for who (s)he really is, and that you then have access to the joy, love, and truth that I spoke of earlier.  It works much better than focusing on the resistance- the anger, judgment, and fear that is created through the ego.  Not only will you feel better this way, your relationship will thrive!

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A New Year’s Resolution

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012

Personally I’m not that into New Year’s resolutions, but if you are I do have a recommendation.  I know you’re thinking along the lines of getting in better shape or making more money in 2012, right?  Or maybe you want to quit smoking, drinking, or eating junk food?

I say if you’re going to bother to make a resolution this year, why not make it one that’s more fun than all that stuff?  Resolve to have more sex in 2012.  Or better yet, how about more S.E.X. (Synergistic Energy Exchange)?  Hopefully, if you have been reading my blog, by now you are learning that if you are having sex, you are also having S.E.X.  Below are some great reasons to make that your #1 and perhaps only resolution this coming year:

1.  Sex lowers stress.  It is good for overall stress reduction as well as actually lowering your blood pressure.

2.  It boosts immunity.  Sex has been shown in studies to increase an antibody that fights off colds and infections in your body.

3.  Sex is a good calorie-burning exercise.  In fact, each orgasm alone burns sixty calories.  Forget about that new diet and exercise plan, have more sex!

4. It boosts self-esteem.  Have you ever heard of someone in the throes of low self-esteem while having an orgasm?

5.  Sex builds intimacy.  Sex produces more of the hormone oxytocin in our bodies, which is responsible for our building trust and bonding with our partner.

6.It lowers a man’s risk for prostate cancer.  ‘Nough said.

7.  SEX IS FUN!!  Oh, sorry I already said that, didn’t I?  Actually I knew I already said that.  I just wanted to say it again.  Really, what other resolution on your list is fun?!  And wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all prioritized having fun in 2012?

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