A friend of mine had a rift in her marriage last year. This was not an unusual story. It may sound familiar to you, from your own life, or someone you know. She had been married for a considerable number of years. She noticed, several years before, that not only had she stopped having a desire for sex with her partner, but that she had literally at times felt repulsed by him. She was not in love with anyone else nor was she having an affair.
Hers is a story with a “happy ending”, or I should probably say a happy resolution, at least for the time being. With her permission, I am sharing what happened. Perhaps it will be of service to you or someone you know. Here’s what she did, that, I believe, contributed to a positive outcome for her and her husband:
1. She told the truth. Her truth. As much as she was scared to do so (she had put it off for years already), she told him how she had been feeling.
2. She honored her feelings. She stopped having sex with her husband. She honored herself by not forcing herself to continue to have sex with him when she didn’t want to.
3. She didn’t panic. He did. He was very angry and hurt. He told her he thought he should move out, that they should get a divorce, all the usual stuff the partner who’s hurt will predictably go to. But she didn’t overreact to what he said. She remained calm. (Okay, maybe ONCE she said some unenlightened things, but that’s all )
4. She kept meditating. She had been in the habit for years of meditating daily. Sometimes when we get in stressful situations, we stop our healthy habits. She did not.
5. She allowed her soul to penetrate further into her body. She set that intention before her meditations, and it did occur.
6. She talked to him on the soul plane. Since her husband’s ego was getting in the way of their having productive conversations on the earthly plane, she went to the soul plane and had some chats with his soul. (See my blog titled Soul Linking for more information on how to do this.)
After two to three months, something wonderful happened. One day, seemingly out of the blue, she began to have sexual fantasies about doing something with him that they had done in their earlier sexual life. When he got home from work, she pounced on him and fulfilled her fantasy. She reports that for several days and nights after that, they passionately made love as they had done when they first fell in love. Then, they were restored to a more “normal” frequency of lovemaking.
I’m not saying this eliminated every challenge in their marriage, or that the same experience (lack of sexual desire) never resurfaced . I AM saying that this is what worked for them. I know there are literally millions of couples out there who may be going through a similar experience. Maybe you are part of one of those couples. If so, how have you handled it? What has/hasn’t worked for you? What do you think of the approach described here?