Posts Tagged ‘Synergistic Energy Exchange’

“Full Catashrophe” Dating

Thursday, June 20th, 2013

The author of a book named “Full Catastrophe Living”, John Kabat-Zinn, refers to “the poignant enormity of our life experience” and suggests mindfulness (being present in each moment) as a means to coping with it.  After a recent experience in my primary relationship, I decided that polyamory is “full catastrophe” dating.  It’s facing whatever is there in each moment.  In polyamory, there is no hiding.

Allow me to explain:  the day finally came.  My primary partner had sex, actual intercourse, with someone else.  And it brought up more for me than I had anticipated. (more…)

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Warning: Rant about Ranting Ahead

Friday, June 14th, 2013

As those of you who read my blog regularly know, I rarely go on a rant about anything….and I feel once coming on.  Just sayin’

This particular rant got triggered by a post I read the other day, in which a Facebook friend of mine (whom I don’t know personally) stated that she was “curious” about the poly lifestyle and then went on to judge it as being not only morally wrong but inferior to the monogamous lifestyle.  First of all, let’s call a spade a spade:  “curiosity” and judgment are two very different things.

I’m not saying this judgment goes one way.  I have seen those that are into polyamyory judging the monogamous lifestyle as well.  I myself am guilty as having presented polyamory, or at least non-monogamy, as being the “natural” way for all of us.  I have since changed my mind about that, but nevertheless- I said it. (more…)

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The “D Word”

Tuesday, June 11th, 2013

That’s what my daughter used to call “divorce” when she was five.  When her dad and I got divorced.  Interestingly, she was unknowingly reflecting the attitude of our whole society toward divorce.  We treat it is if as it were a bad word.  Kind of like Valdemort from Harry Potter.  The unmentionable.

Depending on how you look at the statistics, the divorce rate in America is somewhere between 40% and 70%.  It is generally considered a bad thing that the divorce rate is where it is.  And America is not even in the top five countries worldwide for the incidence of divorce.

Yes, the divorce rate in America is high.  And I would say that if people were to be honest with themselves and each other and end their marriages when they were really over, the divorce rate would be much higher.  More like 85 to 90 percent. (more…)

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Open Your Eyes

Friday, June 7th, 2013

The other day during my massage, a message came through for me:  “open your eyes”.  That’s all.  No hints.  Just those three words.  Sheesh, non-physical is so damn mysterious sometimes! ;)

The immediate hit I got was that is was something positive, some blessing in my life that I’m not seeing, that’s so right-in-front-of-my-eyes that I am overlooking it.  And my massage therapist had the same impression.  So- a double confirmation that it was something good!

Of course,. that still didn’t stop my unconscious mind from waking me up in the middle of the night and presenting about ten horrible scenarios that the message could have been about.  (Did you ever notice how so many things seem worse in the middle of the night?) (more…)

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Sweet Spots Happen- Part II

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

So then last weekend was when I landed on the name for where my poly partner and I are at:  the “sweet spot”.

Let me back up a bit.  I left off last week telling about our recent round two of concealing, pain, mistrust, revealing, recommitting to transparency, and trust.  Then there was more harmony.  And then we went away for a long weekend of learning and adventure.  By Sunday night, I was lying in our tent, freezing my cute little ass off, and simultaneously blissed out.  (Anyone who knows me knows that I hate being cold, so if I was really happy and really freezing at the same time, that means I was really f*cking happy!)  And I told my partner that I felt like we had really hit a “sweet spot” in our relationship.  He agreed. (more…)

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Sweet Spots Happen

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

After my (rather dramatic) blogs about my dating experience in my polyamorous relationship, you may have been wondering…well, what happened next?  Thankfully, things have settled down quite a bit, so there hasn’t been as much to tell.  And, this past weekend, I realized that my “primary” and I have reached a real “sweet spot” in our relationship, and that part of the reason for that is how we are doing handling the green-eyed monster, aka jealousy.

In writing this now, I realize it is hard to tell a story about one aspect of relationship without involving others.  That is because all aspects of relationship are intertwined. I can’t really talk about jealousy without talking about trust. (more…)

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Word of the Day: Come

Friday, May 17th, 2013

Have you ever wondered just exactly what it means when someone says the word “come”, in reference to having an orgasm?

Actually, let me back up here a minute.  You’ve probably noticed I did not spell “come” like this:  “cum”.  I really don’t like that spelling of it.  To me, it cheapens the whole experience and does not describe what is really happening at all.

Also, before I get into what it means, let’s have a review about Who You Really Are.  You are a radiant being.  You are a grand soul.  You are God/dess embodied.  Got it? ;) (more…)

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On Going Down

Tuesday, May 14th, 2013

Let’s talk about oral sex.  One of my favorite topics, actually. :)

How about you?  Do you like it?  Do you like receiving it?  Do you like giving it?

Recently it has been on my radar that plenty of people, both men and women, do not think they are particularly good at it, and do not enjoy it much.

I think part of the problem here is that they are placing too much emphasis on the technique, seeing it as a “job” and not seeing it as something that can be fun for themselves.  (Really, we should change the name “blow job” to something else….any suggestions?) (more…)

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You Make That Sound Like a Bad Thing

Thursday, May 9th, 2013

I was thinking about this while I was blow drying my hair this morning:  Have you ever noticed how many of our swear words (in this culture and others) have to do with sex?  Things like:  “f*ck you”, “you’re a pr*ck”, “you’re a c*nt”, “eat me”….you know what I’m talking about, right?  Basically, our sexual body parts and sexual acts are referenced as if they’re something bad or negative.   And talking about anything sexual or making reference to anything sexual is many times thought of as “inappropriate” or “dirty”. (more…)

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I Saw my “Friend”- Twice!

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

I’m talking about my friend the Barred Owl.  I saw it about a year ago and blogged about it.  Then recently, I saw the same type of owl two more times. 

Animal totems change throughout people’s lives, and I’m quite sure now that this owl is my animal totem since at least a year ago.  Determining which animal is your totem is not about simply seeing the animal here or there; it’s about the way in which the animal is seen.  It’s usually in a notable way.  (more…)

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